


Falling in Remembrance of Love

by Hikarin



Series: Falling and flying [1]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Admin_Rin, Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Inferiority Complex, Izaya Needs a Hug, M/M, Oneshot, Onesided shizaya, Pining, Shizaya - Freeform, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-10-07 23:15:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10372023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hikarin/pseuds/Hikarin
Summary: Izaya seems to fall a lot around Shizuo, holding a banquet of flowers he will never be able to deliver.





	

Izaya recollects the moments before he realizes he has  _ it _ . He remembers Shizuo chasing him, he remembers the rush of adrenaline and his beast’s blond hair shining in the summer sunlight. He also remembers the past, it seemed like a tragic backstory of a romance novel. When he first met him, he fell. He remembers falling into the brown eyes, he remembers falling in love. He couldn’t describe what it was that drew him there. Maybe it was the unpredictability, the honesty, or the simplicity, maybe even all of them at once. He also remembers falling in deep despair as he hears the first words from the blonde angel,

“You piss me off”

_ That’s expected, nobody would ever love me anyways. _

That night he remembers crying, all the harsh words taking a toll on him. With no one to comfort him he falls again, but this time he couldn’t describe exactly where or what he fell into.

Izaya did what was expected of him, for his love. He knew he could never be together, it has always been that way so why should it change now? Still deep inside he hopes.

Everything he does is for his love, the cruel love that would never be. He cherishes each and every encounter, he holds dear every memory, good and bad. He selfishly wishes there was something more.

Izaya remembers the first petal. It was a tulip, a  _ yellow  _ one.  _ Hopeless love. _ He laughed, laughs at the irony of the flower. It happens during the usual game of cat and mouse, the games that he cherishes so much for the sake of being together. He starts wearing another mask, covering up his symptoms, he pretends that nothing is wrong. 

Then  _ he  _ gets it. The angel, the beast, the cause of all his pain and the cause of all his happiness. He hopes for a second that the flowers might be for him, then he remembers,  _ one sided love. _ He can’t cure him. It has to be the one Shizuo loves. No matter what, he will never be enough, no matter how much he wishes upon the stars that his angel loves so much. His love means nothing and he knows deep inside he will never be enough for anyone. 

Izaya still wishes for Shizuo to live. So he finds out who, the swan deserving of the prince’s love. His blood dyes the tulips red, and soon tears fall because he knows that he would forever be the magician’s daughter, fallen deep in love that will never come true. That day Izaya cries himself to sleep again.

He runs, runs towards the cure for Shizuo, purposefully knocking her over while Shizuo runs after him. He creates a chance for Shizuo to deliver his flowers. He examines a flower that Shizuo drops, the flower itself was fairly common. What a lucky flower to have, he feels a pang of sorrow.

_ Dandelion is said to bring happiness and faith _

Shizuo’s disease stops that day, and Izaya is left alone.

This was his last time, the race against time he surely lost. Instead he races against his love, laughing and just for that one moment, he feels happy. Forgetting everything, nothing was in his world except Shizuo. The object of his love suddenly stops, 

“I’m not doing this anymore flea”

Reality crashes upon him and his whole world collapses. Izaya manages a smile, a smile that was meant to be cocky and mischievous but turned into sorrow.

“Goodbye Ангел”

Simon who was waiting to stop the fight shakes his head in pity.

Izaya knows he will die soon. He knows that he should get it removed, or he would die. He refuses to because that’s all he has left of his angel. The roots of his love takes his breath away little by little just as Shizuo would when he smiled. He decides to move away, then maybe his dead body won’t be looked at by his beloved in distaste. He says no goodbyes because he knows that he has no one. He decides that he would wander back to his hometown. He keeps coughing, getting worse day by day. Most of the once yellow flowers are dyed red from his blood. He remembers the meaning behind red tulips,  _ Eternal love _ . He laughs at the irony again. 

_ What a romanticist I am _

He smiles when he spots heathers swaying in the wind, to him everything now looks like a dream. He falls once again into the flood of memories, and this time he drowns.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm Rin I get to post the first fic from this which is an honor because I never ever wrote anything readable in my whole entire life. I want to say thank you to my partner Hikari for helping me revise this fic and giving me courage to post it! And to all readers that stayed with me to the end of this fic, thank you! I hope you enjoyed my first ever fanfic and all feedback is welcome.  
> p.s. the russian no one will ever understand without the help of google translate means angel.


End file.
